Fifty Five Things I've Learned in 55 Years
Fifty-five just scares the pants off me, I gotta confess.
Fifty Five Things I've Learned
in 55 Years
1. If you feel a thing in your gut, pay attention. It's true.
2. If you're allergic to cheese, get over it. Trust me, it could be worse.
3. Regrets are good teachers.
4. Lipstick can boost your immune system. (You didn't know?)
5. If you love the sea, don't move to New Mexico.
6. Most people don't listen. They're biding time until they get to speak.
7. If you cry on your honeymoon, darling, it's not a good sign.
8. Popcorn and wine for dinner can be more romantic and satisfying than an expensive chef prepared meal.
9. Infidelity murders trust.
10. Injectibles don't make you look younger, Darling. They make you look insecure. (See #43.)
11. Coffee is not evil.
12. Good sex is highly underrated. Women, you know what I'm talking about.
13. "Just kidding" translates to I'm too chicken-shit to be honest so I'll pretend my hostility was humor.
14. Putting the toilet seat down is sexy.
15. Religion doesn't make you a better person. Listening does.
16. When it comes to your children, love is letting go.
17. Aging gracefully is an endangered art.
18. Smug is ugly.
19. High school is absolutely not the "best years of your life".
20. Family isn't automatic. Sometimes people end up in the wrong nest. And if you do? Fly away and build your own.
21. Breakfast is not essential. But coffee is.
22. Prejudice buoyed with righteousness is lipstick on a pig.
23. If you get cold feet before the wedding, pay attention. Your feet are trying to tell you something.
24. Children teach their parents.
25. You are either an ocean person or you are not. Forever. It's in your blood.
26. Divorce can be the best possible choice and still hurt like hell.
27. Vegan cheese sucks.
28. A sense of humor is way sexier than six pack abs.
29. Eat, drink and be merry. Who knows how many Junes you've got left.
30. Show don't tell.
31. Living an authentic life unburdens your children.
32. If it seems too good to be true- you know this already, right?
33. Laughing really is the best medicine. Go watch a comedy.
34. When cooking for company choose a dish you can make ahead of time. Join the party.
35. Adverbs- just say no.
36. Every person believes their own point of view is the correct point of view. Accepting this can free you.
37. Don't assume anything. Not one single thing.
38. If you don't value your time, no one else will either.
39. High fructose corn syrup is evil.
40. When it comes to health, there is no one size fits all. What works for one person may not work for someone else. Except for thing #39.
41. No is often the most life affirming, loving choice you can make. Learn to say it out loud. Practice.
42. Perfection is overrated.
43. Curiosity keeps you young.
44. A partner who does the dinner dishes is worth their weight in gold.
45. We become what we behold, says Blake. So what are you looking at?
46. It is better to burn out than to fade away.
47. You can live without TV but you'll miss Charlie Rose.
48. A woman over fifty is invisible. Those of you over fifty know what I'm talking about. Take advantage of it.
49. I regret most those things I didn't have the courage to do.
50. Love and weddings are fragile human gifts every person deserves. Straight or gay. Live and let love.
51. Hope is more inspiring than belief.
52. Calling hot flashes "power surges" felt silly at 45. And by 55 it just feels WTF?
53. There's a reason we lose our close-up vision as we age. It's a marital aid.
54. There is no one, right way. There are an infinite number of ways. Diversity is the dance of the divine. Not to mention, creativity.
55. There is such an animal as true love. Don't settle for less. It's out there. Breathing.
by Karina Allrich. All rights reserved.