Karina's Gluten-Free Apple Crisp

The best gluten-free apple crisp I've made. In this lifetime anyway.

I've been pondering identity lately. As in, am I the I writing this as Gluten-Free Goddess, or am I a word-free, less defined kind of I that isn't actually I at all but merely a spark in the collective energy source that is the great Mystery? Or Universe. Or Divine. Or whatever conceptual nomenclature you prefer. Am I my thinking mind- or am I more of an essence, what we call soul, a truth beyond the assumed collection of thought patterns and personal history framed by a set of beliefs and separation known as the ego?

I do know I am not my disease.

One of the reasons I chose not to use the word celiac in my blog title was for just this very reason. I do not define myself as celiac. In an identity sense. Yes, it says so on my medical records somewhere (in full disclosure, I think it actually says "possible sprue, resolved by the patient going gluten-free"). But I do not identify with my disease. That would be identifying with my limitations.

Hello, my name is Karina. And I have screwed up villi.

Dark Chocolate Brownies- The Best Gluten-Free Recipe Updated!

A pan of rich, dark chocolate brownies- gluten-free and dairy-free.

Yes, I've been tinkering. But first I have a question. Why bake a gluten-free brownie from scratch and not a mix?

While baking mixes are perfectly acceptable in a pinch, and no doubt a boon to busy cooks (well, honestly, who isn't busy these days, I ask you?), your taste buds will tell you why. In a heart beat, Darling. A dark chocolate brownie made from scratch is deeply delicious and decadent. Even impressive. Company worthy. Dare I say, date night worthy. I'm not kidding. This brownie recipe is swoon inducing.

You know what they say about chocolate.

But here's the best part. Throwing this recipe together takes only a few minutes longer than opening up a box. You can whip up these luscious gooey babies in a mere ten minutes. In less time than it takes you to scan your Pinterest feed. Or catch up on Twitter and Facebook.

Seriously.

Gluten-Free Rice Crispy Treats

Gluten-free brown rice crispy treats, GFG style.

Sunday seems to stir up all kinds of sneaky devils and hungry ghosts in the guise of food nostalgia. I dreamed up my last post about Zucchini Gratin on a Sunday, stirring up a bread crumbed casserole of desire fraught with secret emotions and sticky attachments. Food as familial. Food evoking a warm embrace. Food as a way to connect our twenty-one grams of soul to this earth. The ground of being.

I think I know why I'm tip toeing in the garden of nostalgia lately.

My tribe is expanding.

The family my husband and I created when we held hands and promised I do through a veil of mutual tears is now plus one. I have a new daughter-in-law I regard with deep affection. She brings a fresh focus to our four-squared history. And I see us in a slightly altered light, looking at our shared quirks and wrinkles and dreams with renewed optimism. Our clan now feels stronger. Our humble, wacky tribe feels enriched.

And more than a tad sweeter.

Zucchini Gratin

Zucchini gratin gets a make-over. Gluten-free and dairy-free.

On the way to saving your life there are moments that stir up a thousand kinds of trouble. Denial. Anger. Grief. Desire. The last one is the trouble I hear about the most here on Gluten-Free Goddess. The slow burn of longing. Comments and letters asking, sometimes pleading, pining, always hungry for some beloved recipe one can no longer consume. Due to evil gluten. Food is an emotional issue. Charged with hot spots and invisible buttons that can be pushed and engaged by a myriad of things. A scent. A circumstance. A holiday. Food can equal love. Evoke comfort. Mom. Or lack of Mom. Food can feel like self care and nourishment. But it can also be a fence. A barrier erected to survive. A way to numb. Escape. Live three feet from yourself.

Because some days it's hard to be a human being.

Sometimes I get tired of blogging about food. Sharing recipes. Because in all transparency, I don't feel like a foodie. I don't build my day around a meal or shopping for ingredients. Food is fuel. And often (in my house) food is an after thought. As in, Sweet Tap Dancing Bodhisattva, I'm starving. It's six PM. And I have nothing in the fridge except a jar of organic peanut butter.

And lettuce.

Almondy Almond Butter Cookies

Gluten-free almond butter cookies await.

Rumor has it baking weather is just around the corner. Though you'd never know it by looking out the window here in Southern California. Texting skateboarders whip by in short shorts, bikini clad surfer girls are paddling out on their long boards, and jewel-studded flip-flops remain the shoe du jour. It feels more like July than September. It's hot.

And it feels good.

It was a coolish summer for those of us on the South Bay coast. June Gloom stuck around long past its expiration date. Until this week, in fact, I was walking my morning ritual loop in my thickest hooded sweatshirt, fingers tucked up inside the sleeves for warmth (what visitors to Los Angeles assume is smog is actually fog that hugs the coast, blanketing our beaches- and west side- with a fuzzy soft marine layer). It's lovely for baking. But chilly for fingers and toes.

So I bake. In UGGs.

And my latest experiment is cookies.

Just because.