Fifty Five Things I've Learned in 55 Years

Last December, my blogging amiga Kalyn posted a list for her birthday: Sixty Things I've Learned in Sixty Years. Like so many readers, friends and fellow food bloggers, I was inspired by her post. So as birthday number fifty-five (fifty-five? how is that possible?) sat on the horizon as opaque and huge as June Gloom in Los Angeles, I was inspired to write my own list of hard won wisdom. Just to cheer myself up. And shake some cobwebs loose. Fifty-five just scares the pants off me, I gotta confess.

Fifty Five Things I've Learned 

in 55 Years

1. If you feel a thing in your gut, pay attention. It's true.

2. Lipstick can boost your immune system. You didn't know?

3. Regrets are good teachers.

4. If you're allergic to cheese, get over it. Trust me, it could be worse.

5. High heels have to be the single, most cruel and absurd invention. Ever.

6. If you cry on your honeymoon it's not a good sign.

7. Most people don't listen. They're biding time until they get to speak.

8. Popcorn and wine for dinner can be more romantic and satisfying than an expensive chef prepared meal.

9. Infidelity murders trust.

10. Injectibles don't make you look younger, Darling. They make you look insecure.

11. Coffee is not evil. The rats lied.

12. Good sex is highly underrated. Women, you know what I'm talking about.

13. "Just kidding" translates to I'm too chicken-shit to be honest so I'll pretend my hostility was a lame attempt at humor.

14. Putting the toilet seat down is sexy.

15. Religion doesn't make you a better person. Listening does.

16. When it comes to your children, love is letting go.

17. Aging gracefully is an endangered art.

18. Smug is ugly.

19. High school is absolutely not the "best years of your life".

20. Family isn't automatic. Sometimes people end up in the wrong nest. And if you do? Fly away and find yours.

21. Breakfast is not essential. But caffeine is.

22. Prejudice buoyed with righteousness is lipstick on a pig.

23. If you get cold feet before the wedding, pay attention.

24. Children teach their parents far more than parents teach their children.

25. You are either an ocean person or you are not. Forever. It's in your blood. And if you love the sea, don't move to New Mexico.

26. Divorce can be the best possible choice and still hurt like hell.

27. Vegan cheese sucks.

28. A sense of humor is way sexier than six pack abs.

29. Eat, drink and be merry. Who knows how many Junes you've got left.

30. Show don't tell.

31. Living an authentic life unburdens your children.

32. If it seems too good to be true? You know this already, right?

33. Laughing really is the best medicine. Go rent a comedy.

34. When cooking for company choose a dish you can make ahead of time. Join the party.

35. Adverbs- just say no.

36. Every person believes their own point of view is the correct point of view. Accepting this can free you.

37. Don't assume anything. Not one single thing.

38. If you don't value your time, no one else will either.

39. High fructose corn syrup is evil.

40. When it comes to health, there is no one size fits all. What works for one person may not work for someone else. Except for thing #39.

41. No is often the most life affirming, loving choice you can make. Learn to say it out loud. Practice.

42. Perfection is overrated.

43. Curiosity keeps you young.

44. Cooking together can make love stronger.

45. We become what we behold, says Blake. So choose your focus well.

46. It is better to burn out than to fade away.

47. You can live without TV but you'll miss Charlie Rose.

48. A woman over fifty is invisible. Those of you over fifty know what I'm talking about. So take advantage of it.

49. I regret most those things I didn't have the courage to do.

50. Love and weddings are fragile human gifts every person deserves. Straight or gay.

51. Hope is more important than belief.

52. Calling hot flashes "power surges" is also lipstick on a pig.

53. There's a reason you lose your close-up vision as you age. It softens imperfections. And keeps those chin hairs out of focus.

54. There is no one, right way. There are an infinite number of ways. Diversity is the dance of the divine. Not to mention, creativity.

55. There is such an animal as true love. Don't settle for less. It's out there. Breathing.

Fifty Five Things I've Learned in 55 Years is ©2009
by Karina Allrich. All rights reserved.